I went to an AA meeting tonight for the first time in a long time and it helped realize a lot. The first thing being that I am selfish. I am so selfish and I need to stop putting myself before everyone else. I feel like the world owes me everything, when it actually doesn’t owe me a thing. I feel like everybody should cater to my every need and when I’m upset the world should be too. I’m selfish and I’m self-centered and that has got to change.
I’m not okay with being selfish, that’s not who I am deep down. I am truly a selfless person, but my addiction has turned it all around. I don’t recognize who I am anymore. That’s not okay. I want to be my old self again. Before the drugs, before the drinking. But I know I can’t get it all back, what I can do is work on myself, work on my thinking and work on my sobriety.
I’m meeting with a potential sponsor on Tuesday and I couldn’t be more excited! She seems like a great person and I already relate to her a lot, which is fantastic!
Tonight, I learned just how powerful AA really is. I felt a feeling like no other in that room, I felt like I was at “home.” I’ve never felt like that before. Everybody was so welcoming and so many people introduced themselves to me, more so than any other meeting. It was so great!
I’ve learned that you really must take it one day at a time and pray every single morning not to drink and then thank God at the end of the day for another day of sobriety. I’m no expert on AA, I’m a newcomer, but I can see the power that it has on people’s lives. I want that kind of life-changing event to happen to me and I know that if I work the program like it’s supposed to be done, then I will have that.
I’m changing my life. One Day At A Time.