I Refuse To Fall Apart

This time last year, I fell apart completely.

I ran away, I hid, I lied, I made decisions that I regret. But not this year.

This year I am stronger; this year I am in charge of my life. This year is different.

I want to fall so badly, I can feel it creeping up, the regression setting in, but it is not welcome here. I’ve come too far and fought too hard to destroy myself again.

Relapse happened, yes, but sometimes you need bad things like that to happen so you can realize just how bad they really are. I’ve got this.

Day one of exercise.
Day one of sobriety.
Day one of drinking more water.
Day one of a positive outlook on life.

Things are looking up so much and I’m not going to let my anxieties get the best of me.

Stay Strong


16 Comments Add yours

  1. my valiant soul says:

    Good luck,dear!:)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. monlvz says:

    Try keeping busy. I had a partner, that has passed away recently, that struggled with addiction. Something I noticed was that they used when they would be bored. They didn’t have a job, didn’t go to school, and had started being anti-social. When you’re alone so much, your thoughts can get to you.
    I’m not saying go get a job or start taking classes, but maybe take up some of your time doing things you love. Like you said, exercise. Maybe take up a swimming course? Take up a hobby?

    Good luck~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I actually started working again today and it made me feel so great! I didn’t have any anxieties about it at all, so that’s what I’m going to do to keep myself busy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. this is very motivating! sometimes I feel I cannot be strong because I wasn’t strong before, but screw that! I can and will be stronger! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!! And yes!! Sometimes you have to tell yourself that to reassure yourself that you’re capable of it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. richie888 says:

    Hey kiddo you got this. Slow and easy. If you need some one to talk to just give me a shout.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. richie888 says:

        Hey how ya been?? Ain’t heard from you in a while!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. So great!!! I went MIA for a while. How have you been?


      3. richie888 says:

        Doing good.. I wrote another blog on my page here.. did you get. A chance to check out? Just living day by day.. and even after 5 years clean man some days it’s a motherfucker to not pick up.. I just need to get in to writing more and find an accountability friend. I found one on instagram but turned out she decided to smoke weed now. Since it’s legal.. where she is.. go figure.. he’ll world problems huh..!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I’ll go check it out! I haven’t been on wordpress in a very long time! Living day by day is all we can do. dang! that really sucks!!!


      5. richie888 says:

        Yeah it’s all good I know I won’t pick up.. it’s just somedays my patience is put to the test.. like really bad…

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I feel ya there!!!


      7. richie888 says:

        And ya must be on here and there.. ya finally got my message..😊

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Yes! I’m going to try to be more active on here, my laptop doesn’t like to open wordpress though so I’ll have to use the BF’s computer when he’s at work x)


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