“Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned.”
It’s not easy admitting that you’ve sinned, especially when you have a lot of people counting on you. But it’s also not easy living with yourself after you’ve sinned if you haven’t repent for said sins. As much as I hate to admit it, I have sinned. I haven’t lied exactly, but I haven’t told the full truth. Which is a sin. Or at least, I think it’s a sin. I feel so horrible, so guilty, so lost because of it. It is just eating away at me, slowly tearing me apart.
What, you may ask, have I not been completely honest about? Well, that’s a difficult thing to say. I haven’t drank, don’t worry, I’m still alcohol free. But I’m not fully sober. It kills me to write this, but it kills me even more to hide it. At the risk of losing my credibility and losing followers, I am confessing to my sin. I smoked at the beginning of the month. I thought I could use that as an alternative to medicine, but I was so wrong. It was a horrible experience and I hated every second of it. I was miserable and I still am because I haven’t been completely honest with you all.
I know that I’ve let you guys down, I’ve let myself down. And I hate myself for it. It’s been ripping me apart slowly, I think that’s why I have been wanting to drink so much. I feel like I’ve already given up on everything so why not just give up completely?
I want to ask for forgiveness, though. Not only forgiveness from God, but forgiveness from you. I let you all down. And I feel like the lowest human being on the planet. I’m sorry, I truly am. I am repenting for my sins, I am admitting to them. I had no justifiable reason to commit this act, yet I did. And for that, I am sorry.