February 28, 2016

            I’m not “sick” enough to get disability but I’m “too sick” to work. It makes no sense to me. I feel like a failure, I feel hopeless, I feel worthless, I feel like dying. Did you know that 10% of people with Borderline Personality Trait Disorder commit suicide? Did you also know that up to 15% of people suffering from depression commit suicide? Put these together and my chances of dying by committing suicide are pretty fucking likely. Right now, that’s what I feel like doing. I just feel so low right now. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know who to turn to. I feel so alone.


4 Comments Add yours

  1. Victoria Jones says:

    you don’t have to be that 10% and turn to God. I know that can be hard and it can seem like He is not here some times but also remember God olny gives you what you can handle. I’ve learned that the hard way. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! and you are not alone. you have so many people who love you and care about you Including me. and I am here for you call me or text me when ever you need to talk.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. myambivalentexistence says:

    *hugs* It may sound stupid, but sometimes when I feel really low I just put the son from nemo on repeat in my brain “just keep swimming…..just keep swimming” kind of like a mantra. It helps me autopilot until I feel capable enough to engage in my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s not stupid at all! Honestly, that sounds like really great idea! I think it would help me a lot. Finding Nemo is such a great movie and thinking about it would probably help calm me down as well!

      Liked by 1 person

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