Day 18: Something You Miss

Day 18 of the 30 Day Blog Challenge: What is something that you miss?

Time for brutal honesty, I don’t care if you judge me on what I have to say. Honestly, I miss drinking. I miss the temporary release from reality, I miss the carefree spirit that I had when I drank and mostly, I miss the feeling it would give me. I know that I’m better off without it, but I miss it terribly.

The cravings are real bad today, I don’t know how to get past them. I’m struggling so much with it. It’s like I do so well for a while and then BAM, it comes and slaps me in the face and says, Hellooo, did you forget about me? Your addiction! I still exist! Don’t forget about me, I’m still here, I’ll always be here!” I’m on the verge of tears because I know that I’m better than that, I’ve come so far, 83 days today. I’m almost at 3 months. That’s about how far I came last time when I relapsed. I’m so terrified of relapsing. I won’t have anywhere to live if I relapse, I’ve been told that already. There’s so much weighing on my sobriety. I can’t give in to the horrible disease that is addiction.

I miss drinking more than anything else on this earth, but I can’t let it win. I will keep fighting.

xoxo
Lindsey

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. ejfpaff says:

    Stay strong!! 💪🏼

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I relate to this. I still feel this way about my own addiction a lot of the time, but the longer you stay sober, the easier it gets to keep going. Keep fighting. You can do it, you are worth it. Your determination even when you’re having these cravings is admirable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is reassuring that I’m not alone. And thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Victoria Jones says:

    you know that I am always here for you stay strong and if you need me you know my #

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much!! ❤

      Like

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