I know I haven’t talked much about my religious beliefs in any of my blog posts, but tonight I’m going to. No, I’m not going to force them upon you, I respect every single person’s beliefs or non-beliefs; it is a personal choice. But I am going to discuss my personal beliefs in this post.
Throughout the chaos of these last few days, I have remained calm, collected and happy. Despite the worries that I have for my sister, for my family, and for myself, I have managed to stay afloat and not sink into a depression. My anxieties are beginning to subside and I can see glimpses of hope on the horizon.
I was reading a book, “When You Don’t Know What To Pray: How To Talk To God About Anything,” and it was discussing how sometimes there are “thorns” implanted in you. Thorns can be any kind of ailment, physical or mental illness. But as I was reading about this, my bible verse came up. 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I declared this as my bible verse last year around October/November because I felt that it really resonated with me, given my (then recent) suicide attempt. But when it showed up in this book while I was reading about “thorns” and how they are used to make you stronger and a better person, I just knew God was talking to me. He wants me to know that everything is going to be okay, despite how difficult things have been going for me lately. He also wants me to know why he hasn’t healed me of my mental illness or addiction.
You see, I believe that my mental illness and addiction are “thorns” and are meant to stay with me forever. Why do I say that? Because I believe He wants to use me to share the hardships and difficulties I go through on a daily basis so that people who are struggling with similar issues know that they aren’t alone. I also believe that it is good for me to share my successes and triumphs with others because it can inspire them to continue living when they want to give up. That’s why I’m so open about everything, I don’t hide a single thing in this blog; I am always at my most vulnerable state when I post because I want people to see just what I have overcome and am overcoming. For me, when I see somebody that has gone through similar trials and tribulations as I have/am, it gives me hope to see them thrive. I think to myself, “If they can do it, I can too!”
You see, the reason that I’m still here today is purely by the grace of God. I know He was with me the night I took the pills, I shouldn’t have survived, but I did. But that’s a story for another day..
What I want to share with you today is that there is hope and there is a God out there who loves you regardless of what you’ve done. God doesn’t ask for just the strong to come to him, he wants the weak, the broken, the hurt and the stepped on too. He wants to help those who cannot help themselves and those who can. That’s the beauty of this glorious man. He loves everyone equally.
Like I said, I’m not going to push my religion upon you, but I am going to offer you a hand. If you want to know more about my God, what He has done for me and what He can do for you, comment below or contact me. If you don’t believe in a God, that is perfectly fine! I can totally respect that. If you believe in a different God than I do, that’s awesome too! I just want you to know that I personally believe there is a God out there and He would love to have you accept him into your heart. But if that’s not your cup of tea, I understand completely.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. If you want to see more posts like this just comment/like/follow/share!