Have Faith In Me

“With the weight of the world on my shoulders, they just want to see me fall…”

Everybody is fighting a battle that you know nothing about, no life is as perfect as it seems.

Living behind the stigma of having mental illness and being an alcoholic is not an easy task. I’m not supposed to be able to function like everyone else, I’m worthless, a waste of space, the scum of the earth. But in all reality, I’m none of those things.

What I am is a hard working, dedicated, inspiring young woman who refuses to give up just because society says that I should. I’m not saying that I am perfect, because I am nowhere near it, but I am trying to live my life to it’s fullest potential and that’s all that matters.

When I started this blog, I wanted to share with everybody the struggles that I go through daily, no matter how gruesome, disgusting and horrid people thought they were. Why? Because everybody has a story to tell and I want mine to inspire people. This blog puts me in such a vulnerable position because I’m sharing things I never thought anybody would find out about. I want to help people by showing them that they are not alone.

Pardon my french, but I am pretty damn fucked up. If I can continue to live each day after the turmoil that I have been put through and put myself through, then you can too.

Do you know what it’s like to hate yourself more than words can even explain? What about drinking, do you drink yourself to sleep every night? Does cutting, scratching or burning yourself help you feel alive again? Or does suicide seem like the only option you have left because you can’t deal with the person you’ve become or what you’ve been put through in your lifetime?

That’s me, well, that was me. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments on self-loathing, who doesn’t? I stopped drinking over 2 months ago and haven’t cut in a little over a month. And suicide doesn’t sound quite as tempting as it used to. I am a work in progress and that is okay. You don’t have to be perfect, have your shit together or even know what you’re supposed to do in life; your life is still worth fighting for.

I don’t want you to think that you are a lost cause, so if you are reading this, please don’t give up. I know there is somebody out there that needs to see this. It does get better, I promise.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Comment, like, share and subscribe if you want to see more!

xoxo
Lindsey

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13 Comments Add yours

  1. The DementED says:

    Oh my! A Day To Remember! I’ve always loved that band. I heard they have a new album coming up. haha
    Anyway, I have faith in you. Thank you for posting this. This is another one of your meaningful blog posts. Keep ’em coming. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ADTR is the first “hardcore” band I ever listened to! They will always have a spot in my heart x) And thank you!! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The DementED says:

        Niicee! Same here. They’re one of my firsts too. ‘All I Want’ was probably the first song I heard from them, and then this. You’re welcome 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. If Looks Could Kill was my first 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. The DementED says:

        Ohh so I guess you’ve been a fan, earlier than I have been. But I love that song too. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. All their music is great 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. The DementED says:

        Yess! I highly agree! 😉

        Like

  2. annamechelle88 says:

    This is a wonderfully positive post, but I also like that it is very grounded in reality. We are all flawed, but flaws can be gorgeous because they make us all so unique. We learn from our mistakes, and become who we are because of them. You seem to be a very strong person, and showing you are vulnerable is one of the reasons I think so. By being honest and a little vulnerable, I think we help both ourselves and others. I really enjoyed reading this! And I’m not sure I got a chance to thank you for following my blog so I’ll say that as well actually, I’m happy to know about you 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! I, too, agree that our flaws can be gorgeous, they make us who we are! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and you are very welcome for following your blog! I look forward to reading your posts! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I, too, have depression and BPD with potential traits of PTSD. Nice to meet you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nice to meet you! I hope that my blog serves you well 🙂 Feel free to reach out at any time, I love talking to people who go through similar difficulties as I do!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. xomorgsxo says:

    It is so true!! I just posted a meme on my Instagram this morning that says “Don’t be ashamed of your story it will inspire others”. I used to be so ashamed of my struggles and addictions and such, and now I want to scream them from the roof top so that I can help others who can’t see any way out of the mess. I am far from perfect myself, but I believe sharing out TRUE stories lets other know they aren’t alone.

    You’re a doll xo

    Liked by 1 person

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