Last night I had horrible nightmares, I kept dreaming that I was killing myself. Over and over, no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t wake up. It kept replaying in my dream; I hated it. It’s probably because I had so much caffeine yesterday, I know better than to drink 3 cups of coffee a day.

Death scares me now, it hasn’t always been like that. When I’m down and depressed, I welcome death with open arms. But when I’m happy and have a positive outlook on life, I am terrified of it. I’m so happy lately, minus a few hiccups, which means I don’t want to die. Thank goodness for that. Dying is just so permanent.

Choosing to kill yourself takes the pain away from you, yes, but it also passes it on to those who love and care for you. It also prevents you from ever becomming happy again. I can honestly say that today I don’t want to die, it’s a good day. My boyfriend comforted me in the middle of the night when I woke him up to tell him about my nightmares. Then, he made a delicious breakfast just for me because he knew I needed something to pick me back up.

The little things really count. It turned my day around completely.

What is something that someone has done for you lately that just absolutely made your day?



8 Comments Add yours

  1. I love this. Also, some believe, working through the (b)lessons are what your soul is here to learn. If not done in this lifetime, the lessons will still persist in the next. If that is true, you escape nothing by choosing to leave before the miracle happens. ✌💖👐 ~ Toni

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s very interesting! I like it!!! 🙂


  3. myambivalentexistence says:

    I’ve been working out a lot lately and hubby offered to give me a full body massage (he is training to be a massage therapist). Two hours later and I feel amazing 🙂 It’s so nice when our partners are caring. It certainly makes my day 😀 I’m glad you want to live and I’m glad you have someone who supports you and cares for you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That was so sweet of him! And congrats on working out lately, that’s awesome!!! 🙂 And it makes my day as well! Tonight I came home and dinner was already prepared! Yay! I’m also glad that you have someone to help you out and cares for you, it really helps on the down days! 🙂 xoxo


  4. manyofus1980 says:

    hi. i’ve privatised my blog. would still love to give you access. go here to request it once i approve you you’ll have to go back into the blog and hit follow to recieve posts via email. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. manyofus1980 says:

    so lovely of him to comfort you and make a delicious breakfast! He’s a keeper! Sorry you had nightmares though. Sending hugs. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes he is!! And it is okay 🙂 *hugs*


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