Character Defects

2 month chip

Last night, I went to an AA meeting, my first one since I have been sober. I told myself that I wouldn’t go to one, just to be spiteful because of my dad. He told me that I wouldn’t be able to succeed without going to meetings, but here I am, over 2 months clean and sober and I hadn’t gone to any meetings!

The members talked about Step 6 out of the 12 steps. “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” At first, I thought it was going to be a boring meeting and I would just sit there, wishing the hour long meeting would somehow get cut short. But that didn’t happen.

I listened to the step, and then I listened to what everybody had to say. Goodness, I wish I had my notebook with me last night, there was wisdom flying all over that room.

What stuck out to me the most was when somebody said that it’s easier to make yourself a target of your own character defects when you’re lonely, but we learned about self-preservation to counteract them.

Self-preservation is the act of protecting yourself from harm or death. It is not something that I have used before, so I found it to be very interesting. I plan on trying to use it the next time my character defects try to take over.

Do any of you use self-preservation? If so, what tips do you have?




10 Comments Add yours

  1. The DementED says:

    Wonderful! It’s a good thing that you attended and learned from it. I’m happy for you.

    Any examples of a self-preservation act, by the way? Would writing or blogging count as one? Just curious! lol.

    Keep up the progress! Cheers. 🙂


    1. Thank you! And I think blogging/writing would count! Or at least to me lol. But another example could be to try to learn other coping skills or try to avoid triggers. I think lol. I’m still studying up on self-preservation!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The DementED says:

        Ahh I see. that’s great to know. Keep it up then, it sounds really useful, and maybe make new posts about it? 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I certainly will! I’ll make that my goal for the week!! 🙂


  2. Good job with this blog & congrats on 2 months! Keep it up! ✌💖👐 ~ Toni

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much!! 🙂


  3. Evia says:

    Congrats on your two months. Good work! Self preservation to me comes in the form of writing in my journal about all those crazy thoughts and feelings. Also mediation and meetings come into it a lot. That’s ‘me’ time and I love it.


    1. Thank you so much! And I like that you use writing as a self preservation technique, that’s most likely what I’ll do. 🙂 Meditation and meetings sound like great ways as well!!!


  4. I’ve been sober since Oct 21, 2011 and I didn’t make it this long without going to meetings. Trying to stay sober on your own without community is “white knuckling” your sobriety. As much as we hate to think our parents might have some wisdom, your dad has a point. Sobriety will stay with you as long as you “work” on it. Meetings are important as you experienced. A sober community with love you through thick and thin. I work on remembering the acronym H.A.L.T. Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. When I am any of these 4 individually or combined I’m more likely to get my stinking thinking going and I want to use. I keep myself eating healthy food and hydration. When angered I’ll repeat the serenity prayer until I’m not wanting to kill someone. When I isolate and become lonely I FORCE myself to a meeting or call a sober friend. When I’m just exhausted or tired, I force myself to sleep or rest. Proud of you beyond words you went to that meeting. Us old people might seem weird or intelligible but we’ve walked this road and we want to help you succeed. Love & respect to you.


    1. Thank you so much for your insight! I agree with you that sobriety stays with you as long as you “work” on it. I actually really enjoyed the meeting and would like to look into finding some around my own area. I might try out a young people meeting too, just to see which ones appeal to me more. My old therapist taught me about H.A.L.T. but I always seem to forget about it. I’ll have to keep sticky notes up to remind me x) Congrats on your sobriety by the way, that’s so awesome! I’m going to have to go to a meeting soon, because I know I can’t do it on my own for much longer! I’ve been lucky so far, honestly. Love and respect to you too! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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