July 9, 2015
My time is up. I can’t continue living like this. I’m not happy, I’m depressed and nothing will help. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but it all ends tonight. This is my last writing. I’m not posting anywhere because I don’t want to be saved. It’s my time to go. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough. I’m sorry I wasn’t the daughter, girlfriend, or friend that you wanted. I’m sorry that I couldn’t live up to your expectations. I’m sorry that I couldn’t save myself. Nobody can. Please don’t blame yourself, or anyone else for that matter. I’ve had these demons for so long, I’m just tired of fighting them. I thought I was strong enough, but I’m not. Nothing can change the way I feel. I don’t really know what to say. I’m just at a loss for words. Too many emotions right now. I’m just ready to go.
When you find me, don’t be sad. Be happy for me, I’ll finally be happy. All that I ask is that you play Catfish Soup by Attack Attack at my funeral. That’s all I want. Because this was no accident.